Thirty years into his teaching career, Susuk Kwanjangnim is working on many fronts to spread the benefits of Hwa Rang Do to the public. This is the second part of our interview with Master Lee, bringing to a close this glimpse into how and why he works. (for part one, see Chief Master Lee Interview Part I)
KCC: From the 30 years of teaching, what are some of your discoveries, experiences, and understandings of being human?
CML: Wow, that’s a loaded question. Let me see how I can best answer that. First off, I am grateful and feel blessed for having the opportunity to have come across so many diverse people of all walks of life, culture, and nations. Literally I have taught thousands if not tens of thousands of students and you can say I heard it all, seen it all, but human beings are very tricky and I am sure I will gain new insights, (smiling) good ones. But then again what are bad insights? I guess all insights are good, depending on how I apply them, and yes I already knew that. I was just checking to see if you’re awake.
There are many that I could mention, which is my inspiration for my next book, but for now just a few thoughts. I have heard over and over again from my students that they wish they started training earlier when they were children and that they wish they finished many things that they started when they were younger. There are several clues to our human nature from this. For one, perseverance is not innate; it is learned or in my case teachable. So, this is one of my most important missions as a teacher is to teach the qualities of perseverance and tenacity to my students.
How is that possible? Well, before one can be tenacious, he/she must have fortitude, endurance; before one can persevere he/she must have strength and courage. One must understand the reasons why people quit things.
And, if you ask a thousand people why they have quit, they will give you a thousand different answers with the most popular answer being, “I don’t know.†For those who have put some thought into it, their answers will range from the most absurd to the most creative elaborations from their infinite imagination, the intellect. However, if you look deeply, there are two fundamental reasons – loss of interest and hardship.
There are many versions of why they lost interest and why it was so difficult and all of them are justifiable and reasonable. Nevertheless, the bottom line is that they have quit.
Most have learned the art of quitting from their early childhood when you (the parent) have enrolled them in piano lessons, but now they want to play the guitar which is actually okay as it is in the same discipline of music. So at least, that’s what we tell ourselves as parents. Then, the child wants to do martial arts, but now he wants to play football and that’s okay because at least they are doing something physical. So at least, that’s what we tell ourselves as parents.
As young children, they seek what is pleasurable and avoid things that are not pleasurable. This is why I might find my 6 year old nephew rubbing himself on the couch and when asked, “Why do you do that?†His answer is simple and in a way profound, “It feels good.†Profound? Because ultimately this is the state which we all seek – that state of purity, innocence, and happiness, often called heaven, nirvana, enlightenement.
But for now, we must grow to maturity and become adults. And being an adult, being mature means that we must learn to do the things that we don’t like to do, things which do not give us pleasure. We may even do them well and sometime very well — like taxes.
So, if we let the child decide, then they will be fickle and rightly so with so many things to do and so eager to do them all.
Then what is the answer?
You can’t just have them do one thing forever or can you? Actually that’s what makes people the best at something – look at Tiger Woods or better yet, me (with a smile). To clarify, it’s not just one thing, but one focus. Well, that’s highly unlikely and you don’t want to limit your child’s experiences. Then, what can you do?
How about setting smaller goals and timelines for example: if they want to play the guitar, then you make them promise that they will try it for one year whether they like it or not and at that time, you’ll re-evaluate whether the child wants to continue or not.
At least this way, they did not quit, but more importantly they don’t feel like a quitter and also learned to keep a promise. Also, they did not get stuck wasting time on something that they don’t like doing and it’s not their forte. This is why the martial arts are so perfect as it breaks down the art’s curriculum into small parts, the belt ranking system, that are more digestible.
Boy this has become a long winded answer, so I’ll try to wrap it up and you’ll just have to wait for my book to know the rest.
No matter how you disguise it, quitting is quitting, and it’s a learned behavior. As a child when they quit something, they don’t feel bad, they feel liberated, happy. It’s later on in their lives that this behavior impacts them negatively and is the cause of low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and self-destructive behavior.
Human beings cling to things that are familiar and stay away from things that are unfamiliar whether they are positive or negative has no bearing on their decision. We want more than anything – security. The fear of the unknown is far greater than the impending doom of self-destructive behavior. And, even when we know that what we are doing is not good for us, we will continue as that is what’s familiar. Their lives will continue to spin out of control and not knowing how to stop it or change it, their ego for the sake of self-preservation will convince them that it’s not their fault that their live are so messed up, but it’s everyone and everything else that’s is to blame.
KCC: We can’t change our past, so what are we to do now as adults?
CML: Quit! (laugh). There are so many things I want to share with you, my students, and the world. This is why I am relentless in my efforts to teach, teach, and then teach some more. With the help of some of my students, we will utilize the new technologies to disseminate my teachings and have it more readily available worldwide.
KCC: Okay Master Lee, but what do you want to teach?
CML: Whether you believe in God or not, our lives are in our own hands. And, if there is a God, we must be self-reliant for what kind of god would want a nagging, whining child. Our destiny lies within our own hands and it is up to us to make happen what we want to be like, what kind of life we want to live. Whether the glass half-full or half-empty, what you must remember is that it is the same glass of water and it’s up to the individual to decide.
The goal should be to do the best that we can in all that we do by constantly improving, strengthening, and educating ourselves towards betterment. That should be the goal of our lives, not “lets be a millionairesâ€. Money is a means to an end, not the end itself and usually it ruins everything of true value, the human spirit. So if you do not enjoy the journey of life and spend money accordingly, then you’ll have amassed a lot of wealth, spend much time and stress protecting it, some will literally bury it underground as they do not trust the banks, then die a rich, bitter, lonely man, only to leave all the wealth that you could not carry into heaven, to your children. Then they won’t be able to understand why people have to work so hard to make money and constantly complain about it and also can’t figure out why they are so miserable.
Earlier, I have defined two fundamental sources for quitting and both are within our control – boredom and difficulties. Grass is not greener on the other side; the grass is greenest where I step.
In order to maintain our interest in others and the things we do, we must first make ourselves interesting by constantly improving in all areas of our lives, reaffirming our purpose each and every day, crush the demon of apathy that lies deep within ourselves, and not live to enter heaven, but make this our heaven.
Then, we must fortify and strengthen all three elements of the self – mind, body and heart, keeping our spirit balanced and strong. With this renewed strength, we can now face any hardship and accept it as a challenge that stands in defiance of our growth, of our goal towards self-betterment.
I am not interested in living a long life; I want to live a full life. This is what I have learned from my life as a Hwarang and this is what I want to share with the world. I thank my teacher, my mentor, my father and most importantly the silence between the words that give everything meaning.
Hwarangdo Forever!
Tags: Children