I’ve always been the organized sports kind of person. From wrestling to soccer, I always thrived in an environment with a coach barking at me and a team that I couldn’t let down. At the time, I thought I was disciplined. I mean, running 7 minute miles without breaking a sweat is disciplined, right?
But if I really think about it, my drive was never really internalized. In school, I was always working just working for a grade in a class. In fact, my entire goal throughout college was to get the A with as least effort as possible.
Fast forward to my mid-twenties with no more coaches, teams, or grades, and I was a bit directionless. I even tried mens league soccer to return to the sense of comraderie among a team that I had in high school and college. But everyone playing in a mens league is a free agent. Always looking to trade up to a better team. Or, they have about 3 friends on the team and they’ll only pass to those guys. Or worst of all, they’re phoning it in, so they can tell girls in bars that they play soccer.
It got old, quickly. What was the point in making a 30 yard run to be wide open for a shot on goal if no one would pass it? Or what was the point of playing hard defense toe-to-toe with someone advancing the ball if your teammates were too lazy to cover the open pass. It all resulted in a lot of wasted effort. I got so sick and tired of it that I dreaded going to the games.
Around this time, I had two good friends that had started training in Tae Soo Do. I even met Master Lee at a graduation party for one of the guys. I talked to him for a while about what Hwa Rang Do was all about. As many cocktails as I had that night I clearly remember his answer, “It is whatever you want it to be.” Frankly I didn’t get it. But Master Lee was very charismatic, and made me curious.
A few months later, I attended a buddy week. Class was tough, but I held in there. At the end of it, my thought was, “This is awesome, where do I sign up.” I did that night, and I got my white belt in the next beginner class.
But my externally motivated attitude that had been common for my previous 25 years followed me. At first, I felt I had something to prove. I had to let the entire class and all the martial art instructors know that while I was new, I was no slouch. I was going to sweat it out with the best of them and work harder and faster than everyone. Then they’d know I was serious. I had to tell Master Lee through my actions that I was a student worthy of his tutelage.
After a while, all of the students that were ranked higher than me moved out of the beginner class. My thoughts shifted from proving myself to making sure I was a good example for the other beginners ranked lower than me.
But a thought was very, very slowly crystalizing in my head. Scattered fragments of what Master Lee had been saying over the previous months were slowly taking shape and rising to the surface like bubbles in a pot of water just beginning to boil.
“It [Hwa Rang Do] is whatever you want it to be.”
“You better not be getting your [Tae Soo Do] black belt for me. Do it for yourself.”
“Don’t be an exception, be exceptional.”
“Class is battle–would you show up for battle unprepared?”
“I know you can be 100 times better.”
Hwa Rang Do and Tae Soo Do are not about impressing Master Lee or the other instructors. It’s not about proving yourself to your fellow students. It’s about one thing and one thing only–YOU. Specifically, being the best version of “YOU” possible.
The simple fact of the matter is:
- You CAN do your basics faster
- You CAN do more knuckle pushups
- You CAN always make your stances deeper
- You CAN always make your kicks higher
It is ridiculous how many artificial limitations we place on ourselves. Hwa Rang Do and Tae Soo Do is just as much, if not more, about exercising and improving your mind as it is about exercising and improving your body.
I am finally beginning to internalize that I am capable of much more than I think I am. I don’t need a coach or a team to push me. My natural attitude is to push myself further than I think is possible.
- Joseph O’Day